Hi, everyone! Check back at Worlds Collide this week for my first of TWO special editions of Epic Rap Battles of Scholastic Plus! That's also why this one is a bit short. Anyways, next week, we'll see an otter against a dog, but for now...
Announcer: Epic Rap Battles of Scholastic Plus!
*Carter strides out with his satchel.*
*Mark comes out in his hat with archaeological tools.*
Walk like an Egyptian, out in the sun!
I'm gonna beat you now and it's gonna be fun!
I'm a magician of the House of Life
I know that you alone couldn't handle that strife!
In Tunisia, you stopped Att and Jake.
Your kids are smarter than you- the frosting on the cake!
What's with Atlantis? It's not even real!
I stop giant snakes! You just cry and keel!
Your wife died and left you worse off than before.
You're not even a Guardian! Shut the front door!
Stoppin' Set and Chaos is my game today.
Go dig up some fossils- that's what you are, anyway!
What's a Guardian? What's your problem? Magic? That's not real!
I'm kind, helpful, protective. You couldn't invent the wheel!
I stopped Att and Jake from running with Amy and Dan.
I tried to keep them safe! Better than your frying pan.
I stay out of trouble that doesn't concern me.
Go run off and play basketball. Be a kid! Drop the key!
Your father is Osiris? You control Horus?
Yeah, right, kid! Then I must be Chuck Norris!
Go run off and sing in the world's worst chorus!
Drink some awful ginger ale in the Forbidden Forest!
I'm saving the world through science and my studies!
Go run back to Brooklyn House with all of your buddies!
You were a Vesper suspect, buddy. Don't tell me what to do!
I could beat you with my spells before this rap's through!
Call on Thoth and Isis for things above your mind!
While you work through your daily boring grind!
I'm the greatest! Travelled to way too many nomes!
You're an old guy, traveling, with little to no homes!
I'm Carter Kane! Switch to be like Essix if I please!
Come on, weirdo! Pass on the cheese!
I don't have to take this from a midget of a hunter!
I write bestselling books! You're more like Chris Gunter!
Except you're not even that good! Painful to see
A nerd, playing basketball, with a baboon, eating cheese!
Your world is so weird, and just make it known
That when you met Percy you were totally OWNED!
I'm innocent to crimes, but you create them!
Go wreck the world! I'll find a priceless gem!
Announcer: Who won? Who's next? You decide!
*A falcon swoops by on the screen, but is caught in a trap.*
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF SCHOLASTIC PLUS!!!
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I am Saber Qahill. I'm 904 years old.
I'm from the planet Gallifrey in the constellation of Katerborus.
And I am the dancing master! *Evil laugh.*