Thanks, CerebrusHorse9! (You know why!!!)

Also, come back next week as two previous rappers return- one well-liked, and one who is hated by nearly all fans...


Announcer:

Epic Rap Battles of Scholastic Plus!!!


Cedric Diggory


*Cedric's ghost drifts out with his wand, grinning.*


VERSUS


Tarik!


*Tarik and Lumeo bounce out from the shadows.*


Begin!


Cedric:

I'm back for a final battle. Start it now!

This is who I'm up against? Wow, just wow.

I nearly won the Triwizard Games

Flew through lots of dragon flames

Bet you can't beat Harry at quiddich, man!

You have enough trouble staying put on land!

What kind of hero lets kids get caught?

I gave my life! Stick to watching those tots!

I've got a wand! You've got a fat penguin!

I cast my spells! You try to work on zen!

Your stupid ideas are giving me migraines!

Stick to eating those seal brains!


Tarik:

Seal brains, seal brains!

Take some pains for seal brains!

Better for you than your grains!

Your death was your only gain!

Harry saved the world, young badger, not you!

You've bit more choc'late frog than you can chew!

Your battle's worse than Olvan's stew!

Go now! Leave! Shoo! Shoo!

Lumeo is an otter and is more noble than your life!

We're saving Erdas! Bet you can't sleep at night!

You hold less dignity than a sieve!

On the next verse, remember which of us lived.


Cedric:

I'm braver than you and have more power!

I lived in luxury! You don't even have a shower!

I know Dumbledore! He knows what I cost!

You wouldn't know Olvan on "Undercover Boss"!

I'm British! You're a weirdo! I'm magic! You're just vain!

You're a babysitter! Hey, at least I'm sane!

Check out all my raps! They create a palooza!

Tarik is a weakling taking a snooz-a.

Cedric Diggory's my name. Beating you is my game!

I'm surprised that you even came!

I beat you, don't deny it! I'm better- don't lie it!

Can you do better? Sure, pie it.


Tarik:

That was extraneous and horrible! Proportional to nil. Not more!

You can't beat Greencloaks! We're better at the core!

You say silly words! Our toponyms are better!

You send a Patronus. We go send a letter!

Go up against my otter! You shall see

Just how awful you can be!

My name is Tarik! My rhymes are so great!

I'm certain that-


*Rollan walks in.*


Rollan:

Tarik?


Tarik:

Not now, Rollan! I'm busy!


Rollan:

Who's that guy? This all seems very familiar...


Tarik:

Yes, you faced off against someone else, remember. Now, if you'll excuse me...


Rollan:

May I watch?


Tarik:

What is this? A soccer match?


Cedric:

You mean a football match.


Tarik:

Whatever! Now may I finish?


Announcer:

Who won? Who's next? You decide!


Tarik:

Wait! I'm not done!


Announcer:

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF-


Tarik:

NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!


Announcer: SCHOLASTIC PLUS!

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Saber Qahill


 

I am Saber Qahill. I'm 904 years old.

 

I'm from the planet Gallifrey in the constellation of Katerborus.

 

And I am the dancing master! *Evil laugh.*

 

 

TARIK ISĀ DEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Axolotl

 

 Nothing we do matters. We will all be forgotten. WEEEEEE!

 

What am I doing?

- procrastinating homework

- pondering the fragility of our existence

- laughing at books as I reread them and realize how ignorant the characters are