*Soft, instrumental Christmas music plays, then gets louder, leading up to...*
Announcer: Epic Rap Battles of Scholastic Plus!
*Olvan appears with his moose.*
*Santa walks out, smiling and holding presents.*
'Twas the night before Christmas, and nothing was lurking
'Cept an old guy in red, down the chimney he's shirking!
Leaving his job up to a bunch of little guys
I've got Greencloaks, dude. Go eat a Christmas pie!
You're like Little Jack Horner, all alone in the corner.
They call you a saint, but I think you're a mourner.
You'd better remember the misfit toys.
Meanwhile, I'll fight and train young Greencloak boys!
For the love of Mulop, how will you beat me?
You've got glasses, old man. Why can't you see?
You healed the sick, and was the last one standing.
But you leave your job up to Prep and Landing!
Fighting isn't life. I bring happiness and peace!
Like Christmas World War One, this battle ought to cease!
With two lines, Santa beat you, moose-man!
You don't even have Christmas in your "Erdas" land!
Ho, Ho, Ho! That's true! You don't celebrate! You're in vain!
But that's no reason to take kids from their parents to train!
You're like the Grinch, not too happy. Just a mean old grouch!
Your beard's blacker than Hagrid's. You've got more of a slouch!
Your obsession with coffee is quite a strife!
Coffeetina ain't real, just like your life!
My battles are superior, and just to prove it
Three spirits will come. You'd better move it!
Holidays past, here in the house!
Santa's a master rapper! Olvan is a louse!
Conquerers have the Bile, your army is so small
That my homeboy Alexander could crush them all!
I've traveled through time, now I'm the machine
Meilin failed you! Your senses aren't too keen!
You're not done yet, it's time to present
The next spirit. Let's see who Santa sent!
Look around you, Olvan! What have you done?
Your army's gonna lose. You'll never see the sun!
I'm a master hacker, and with Ian at my side
The Cahills won't ever fail! When have you tried?
Whether it's April or May or any time of year
You've got a cold heart. You look at Stetriol and jeer!
Your life is sad, you've got nothing to give.
Stop killing in battle and let the alive go on and live!
Look to the future, what's in store you?
Beating Death Walkers or fighting a Manchu?
Looking to the future, I'm certain that I see
Failure for the Greencloaks and success for me!
A strong leader is good, too bad you don't got it.
Evil enemies? Check. Don't be scared, I fought it.
Olvan, you won't win, you must be delusional.
Check out my tomb, the traps are illusional!
Ghosts may unnerve me, at least for a time,
But I'm about to go back to my rhymes!
Santa, you're a loser. Cara barely fights.
Ren, you're a no one. Riq's weaker than some Knights!
You're insults are hilarious, and just for fun
One last friend and a bunch of Olvan puns!
Thank you, Santa. Now it's time to change my will.
Add in a machine to go to Erdas and turn it into nil!
I had cancer, but was still stronger than Olvan.
Try to go up against anyone, go and lose to Mulan!
You couldn't find one clue, let alone thirty-nine!
Your side'll be defeated! This is where I draw the line!
Six rappers just put Mr. Greendude out of sight!
Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!
Who won? Who's next? You decide!
*To the tune of "Deck the Halls"*
Epic rap battles of Scholastic Plus!
Merry Christmas and happy New Year, everyone!
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I am Saber Qahill. I'm 904 years old.
I'm from the planet Gallifrey in the constellation of Katerborus.
And I am the dancing master! *Evil laugh.*